It's Time to Throw Out The Tired Narrative of Work-Family Balance

The family-work balance narrative is one that has been around for decades. It’s one that we are all familiar with—one that many of us have internalized. And while it can be a useful way to think about this issue, I believe it’s time we move on from this narrative.

For too long, women have been told that they need to make choices between having a successful career and spending time with their families, or that we aren’t working hard enough if we feel like we’re struggling to balance both. This is a problem because it doesn’t allow women to be successful in either role. It is a false narrative that we have been taught, and one that many of us have bought into.

But what if I told you there was another way?

What if there was a third option?

As women, we need to start thinking outside the box when it comes to our careers and families. In this article, I will discuss how overcoming the family-work balance narrative is essential if women want their best lives possible—both professionally and personally!

Overcoming the family-work balance narrative

The family-work balance narrative is a myth. The problem is that most women are taught to believe that there is a “right way” to have it all.

The issue with this narrative is that it doesn’t allow for women to be in control of their lives. It also makes them feel like they are not doing enough or that they are “falling behind” if they aren’t achieving these two things at the same time. The reality is, however, that in order for us to get ahead professionally, we need to focus on what we can control and make sure our priorities are aligned with our goals.

We’re all suffering from this myth, but in order to break out of it, we need to take responsibility for our part in perpetuating the cycle of work-family conflict. We’re all guilty of holding onto the idea that if we just work hard enough or long enough, we can have everything our hearts desire: success at work, a healthy relationship with your partner (or spouse), and happy kids.

But that’s not true. In fact, the problem with this narrative is that it gives women an impossible choice to make: Do they want a successful career or a happy family? The answer is both—and you don’t need to choose one over the other! But first, we need to take down this tired narrative, and that starts with understanding more about “hustle culture.”

The Psychology of Hustle Culture

If you’ve followed me for a while, you know I write about hustle culture and burnout a lot. Hustle culture is based on the premise that you have to work harder than everyone else and put in more hours if you want to achieve your goals. Hustle culture demands more of us than ever before—and we've been conditioned by society to accept this as normal, even good. A recent study found that millennials are working 11 more hours per week than Baby Boomers did at the same stage in their careers; Gen Zers are expected to work 14 additional hours each week by 2022 compared with Gen Yers today—a whopping 47% increase!

In an interview with Forbes magazine, Marina Darlow, the founder of Femme Sauvage and a mother who built her own business from scratch, shared that “the more tired you are, the harder it is to be creative.” She also explained that many women have been taught to be everything to everyone, which can lead us to burnout.

In other words: If you're not taking care of yourself—if you're putting yourself last—it's going to show in your work. And if your clients see that you're burning out or giving up on your business because of it... well... you've lost them for good.

This is why overcoming the false narrative of family-work balance begins with self-care and rest.

Rest Is A Human Right

Rest is not only a human right, it's also a necessity. You can't be your best self if you're constantly running on empty. And yet, many of us feel guilty about taking time for ourselves because we don't want to let our bosses or colleagues down. We've been taught that the idea of work-life balance means that work is what's important and that rest is just something we do in between those big chunks of time spent at the office. But this model doesn't work for anyone—not for employees and certainly not for companies themselves—and we need to rethink how we approach work and rest in order to get closer to true balance in our lives overall (and maybe even turn a profit).

In order to flourish and live our best lives, we must give ourselves permission to rest.

As women, we have been conditioned to believe that our bodies are not our own. Our time, our energy, and our emotions are constantly being offered up to others—our partners, our children, our loved ones, our employers, and even ourselves.

We are told that there is no room for rest in the lives of high performers. We must work harder than everyone else; we must always be on call; we must never let anyone see us cry or take our eyes off the prize at hand because otherwise they will realize how vulnerable we really are and then no one will ever love us again (or hire us).

This narrative about work-life balance has left many women feeling isolated and overwhelmed by a culture that encourages them to push themselves past their breaking points so that they can “do it all” while still maintaining their pristine manicures and taekwondo black belts. It’s time to stop this vicious cycle by giving ourselves permission to rest—not just from work but also from guilt about not working hard enough or long enough.

The third option.

I think it’s time to throw out the tired narrative of work-life balance. The problem is that the family-work balance narrative doesn’t work. It’s a lie.

The more time you spend trying to achieve “balance,” the less time you have to actually enjoy both your personal life and your professional life. We need to acknowledge that there is no such thing as balance and that working hard doesn’t have to mean suffering.

In fact, when we give ourselves permission to rest, we can flourish—especially if we create spaces where our whole selves are welcome.

So go ahead: give yourself permission today! Resting is one of the most important things we can do in order to live happy lives (both personally and professionally), which means there's no reason not to prioritize it as part of your wellness plan right alongside getting enough sleep every night and exercising regularly.