Step out of your comfort zone to improve your outlook on life
We each have our own “comfort zone." This isn't a special room with lots of cozy pillows and blankets or a destination on Google Maps, but rather a state in which a person feels at ease—comfortable.
The term was coined by the influential speaker and author Judith Bardwick in her 1991 book Danger in the Comfort Zone:
“The comfort zone is a behavioral state within which a person operates in an anxiety-neutral condition, using a limited set of behaviors to deliver a steady level of performance, usually without sense of risk.”
Being in one’s comfort zone implies safety, familiarity, and security. It keeps us emotionally balanced, allows us to meet our basic human needs, and gives us a feeling of control. A comfort zone is a beautiful, important place that serves us well, but living in this space 24/7, 365 days a year can drastically impede our personal growth and ability to better understand our complex world.
We are all masters of living in our comfort zones, so it’s no surprise that stepping outside of it is typically feared. However, there are so many benefits to be gained in causing ourselves some discomfort in the name of growth.
One such benefit? Improving your outlook on life. Let’s explore this idea.
New Experiences Lead to New Perspectives
Life is all about experiences. Our past experiences have shaped the person we are today and new experiences will shape the person we will become.
The thing is, it’s extraordinarily easy to become complacent in life. This is especially true the more successful and comfortable you become. Why? Because once we’ve earned success, our minds think we must keep doing what’s worked for us so far. There’s a quote by Zen master Suzuki Roshi that perfectly illustrates this concept: “In the beginner’s mind, there are many possibilities, but in the expert’s mind, there are few.”
In reality, it’s important for both “beginners” and “experts” to continue challenging themselves and experiencing new things. This isn’t just a motivational platitude either—it’s science. When you partake in new experiences, you create new synaptic connections in your brain, which ultimately increase your neural activity.[*]
Translation? New experiences lead to new skills, perspectives, knowledge, and ways of being. By stepping out of your familiar comfort zone, you expose yourself to new people, places, activities, challenges, ideas, and points of view, all of which expand your consciousness.
Your life stops looking like a scene from Groundhog Day. It becomes interesting, brimming with possibilities that can improve how to perceive the world and yourself. And when you feel happier and more fulfilled on the inside, your appreciation for what’s around you increases tenfold.
Tips for Leaving Your Comfort Zone
You might be thinking, “That all sounds great Dara, but stepping outside of my comfort zone is hard and scary!” I hear you, and you’re right—it is scary! Doing so presents the possibility of failure, and humans naturally want to avoid failure. But if you want to move the needle of self-growth, you need to become comfortable with being uncomfortable.
Here are my top tips for turning down the fear dial and opening yourself up to the great unknown:
1. Reframe stress
Society tends to view all stress as “bad” with a capital B, however, there are actually two forms of stress: distress and eustress. Eustress translates to “good stress” while distress translates to “bad stress.” Unlike distress, eustress can have emotional and physical benefits.
Eustress is characterized by the following characteristics:[*]
It’s short term
It energizes and motivates
It’s perceived as something within our coping ability
It feels exciting
It increases focus and performance
Distress, on the other hand, is characterized by:
Being short- or long-term
Triggering anxiety and concern
Surpassing our coping capabilities
Generating unpleasant feelings
Decreasing focus and performance
Contributing to mental and physical problems
Eustress is what people typically feel when they choose to step outside their comfort zone and try something new. It elicits feelings of fear and stress—yes—but it’s exciting, motivating, and filled with possibility. You might feel it in response to going on a first date, starting a new hobby or project, giving a public speech, moving to a new location, traveling, exercising, or finally booking that retreat you’ve been eyeing (just sayin’!).
Reframe the anxiety and fear you feel in these moments as exciting, beneficial, and filled with possibility. This can help nudge you out of your comfort zone.
2. Understand neuroplasticity
Neuroplasticity refers to the brain’s ability to change.[*] When you do new things, whether learning to ride a bike, cooking a new recipe, or mastering a new task at work, you develop new neural pathways in your brain.
Neuroplasticity also dictates that we can go from fearing something to seeing it as completely neutral or positive. For example, someone that’s scared of spiders can learn to be unafraid of these creepy-crawly critters. It just takes exposure, acceptance, and repetition.
This concept is essential to keep in mind when trying new things. If something seems scary or overwhelming at first, don’t give up. With time, your nervous system will adapt and calm down, allowing you to approach these new experiences with calm confidence.
3. Take a balanced approach
Change can be difficult and overwhelming. As such, it’s vital to make time for rest, connection, self-care, joy, and soothing activities.
Foster a deep sense of self-awareness, ensuring you’re taking care of all aspects of yourself as you delve into uncharted territory. Stepping out of your comfort zone can be uncomfortable, but it shouldn’t cause you severe emotional or physical distress. Remember, you’re aiming for eustress (good stress!).
It’s also important to note that leaving your comfort zone doesn’t mean recklessly throwing caution to the wind. It’s okay to take small, calculated steps, as well as larger, bolder ones.
A Final Word
Stepping outside of your comfort zone doesn’t only have to involve big life changes like switching careers. It can be as simple as doing everyday things differently, trying a new workout, or trying a new type of cuisine.
Everyone’s comfort zone will look completely different, so always listen to yourself first and foremost. This is your journey and no one else’s. Do things on your terms and don’t forget to savor the journey.
I’ll leave you with one of my favorite quotes by T.S. Elliot that ties this concept into a nice bow:
“Only those who will risk going too far can possibly find out how far one can go.”
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